


365 Days of Dreams (always by your side)

by LightCat



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brotherhood, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Curses, Daniel!centric, Focused More on Character Development Rather Than The Plot, Friendship, Gen, Maybe Medically Inaccurate, Not Beta Read, OT11 - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Indulgent, Sickfic, Warnings May Change, produce101 trainees
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-07 09:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14078124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightCat/pseuds/LightCat
Summary: There is a saying that goes like this:"A single small candle can ignite many candles without losing its radiance.But the brighter they shine, the faster they melt."Like a candle, he gives hope to others. He spreads a fire of happiness beyond the shadow of sadness. When he leaves, there is a gaping darkness in the hearts of the people he touched. His time is like a fragile piece of wax hanging loosely on a hopeful birthday-cake.He burns too bright, too beautiful, for this world.Eleven people. Nine labels. One show.One group: a family.ALL I WANNA DO! WANNA ONE!





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (NOVEMBER) Busted.

 

> _바보같이 아쉬움 많은 노래가_
> 
> _(This foolishly regret-filled song)_
> 
> _하늘에 닿기를_
> 
> _(I hope it reaches the sky)_
> 
> _눈물 속에 밤새운 내 기도가_
> 
> _(My prayer that spent all night in tears)_
> 
> _마음에 닿기를_
> 
> _(I hope it reaches your heart)_
> 
>  
> 
> Kang Daniel - Beautiful (Wanna One)
> 
>  

* * *

 

 

Kang Daniel. 22 years old. Busan man. Nation’s first pick. An idol and center of Wanna One.

Sexy and charismatic on stage. No matter the gender, no matter the ages, many people have fallen for his charms.

 

 

This man actually has one other weakness besides bug and ghost.

 

_Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned._

Daniel heard that saying many times before in his two decades of live. He also knew that statement born from a fact. Still, he never experienced it literally before.

“Can you please turn off the camera?” His mom spoke to the cameraman at the front seat, the man looked so shocked at the soft - but stern - demand he almost drops his precious camera. Daniel could relate, he was nervous. He knew that he and his mother will have this conversation sooner or later, but now?

Honestly, he was terrified.

They were still sitting in a provided car from the crew after he and his mother went shopping this afternoon for filming WANNA ONE GO: ZERO BASE _Daniel edition_ in Busan. The papers filled with his signatures earlier tucked safely in her bag.

His mother cleared her throat while subtly glared at the cameraman when he still hadn’t responded, he gulped and spontaneously turned off the camera because of the unbearable pressure from the Busan woman. Daniel couldn’t help but hid his proud grin behind his hand, the Kang family is always and forever be stubborn.

And that was way, he know he couldn’t avoid this talk despite the audiences (his manager and the cameraman) watching him from the corner of their eyes.

Especially, after his mom somehow found his latest report from the hospital.

Mrs Kang crossed her arm and said with a steely voice, “this is private, I will appreciate it if you don’t spread anything about our conversation tonight. I don’t care if Kang Daniel is the biggest idol in Korea or whatsoever.” Her glare intensifying. “He is, and always be, MY son.”

“Yes Ma’am,” answered the cameraman meekly.

His manager – Daniel could see the man upper face from the rearview mirror – nodded obediently.

The car felt so stuffy, Daniel almost certains that the air conditioner broke or something. He wiped his sweaty palm on his dress pants nervously. His mother still glared for a few seconds more and finally uncrossed her arms. The three males relaxed their shoulder in unison when the heavy tensions slightly lifted. 

“Son,” Daniel tried to look at everywhere but his mom even though he could felt his mother gaze pierced his head. If eyes could kill, he already died multiple times right now. “Niel- _ie_ , look at mom.”

Daniel pried his eyes away from the suddenly interesting flower display on the dashboard to look at his mother’s eyes with a – hopefully – innocent smile. Hundreds of excuses at the tip of tongue. However all of that vanished from his head completely. He was too startled to see small droplets of water falling from the eyes of the most beautiful woman in his life.

Daniel, of course, panicked. Even though he tried to stay composed. He failed spectacularly.

“ _Eommoni_ , why are you crying?” his thumb brushed the tears that started streaming down her cheeks.

His mother hugged him, embraced him with a familiar warm he hadn’t felt for years. His eyes suddenly felt warm, Daniel tilted his head up and blinked multiple times to keep the tears at bay.

His mother gripped his back more tightly. “You’re the only one _Eomma_ has right now. I can’t bear it if you also leave.”

Daniel tried to smile, ignoring his blurry eyesight. “What are you saying, _Eommoni_? I am not going to go anywhere.” He hugged her back. Tucked his face on her neck despite the height difference, tried to hide his traitorous tears. He always felt like a small child when his mother hugged him like this. That was the main reason he avoided embracing his mom fully since he graduated high school – even when he got first place at Produce 101.

“Then, take the treatment.” Pleaded his mother.

“ _Eommoni_ — _eomma_ , knows that I can’t…”

“The doctor said it will slow down the c-cancer.” A chocked sobs. Daniel heart felt painful when he saw his usually strong mother broke down because of him. Her own son.

“The doctor also said that most of the tumors got removed five years ago.” It was not like he blamed the doctors for his illness, their jobs was to cure their patients. It was not their fault that sometimes fate just likes to play with human’s destiny.

He heard a muffled gasp from the front seat, the rapper almost jumped. He glanced at the two forgotten man and gulped nervously when he saw their disbelief and shocked faces. Daniel caught his manager’s stern gaze with a sheepish nod: ‘ _I’ll explain later’_.

Damn, he forgot about them.

Daniel buried his face on his mother shoulder, avoiding his manager intense stare. “ _Eomma_ will look ugly, don’t cry please…” his palm rubbed a small circles on her back. ”Don’t worry, I’m happy. This is my dream, _Eomma_.” Murmured him softly into her ear.

His mother only sobbed harder, Daniel wrapped his arm around her trembling figure in a silent apology.

He almost forgot - again - that they were not alone in this car if the vehicle didn’t swiveled because of a particularly sharp turn. His manager looked panicked for a moment, it seemed like that man gotten too focused eaves-dropping the family bonding time on the back instead of paying attention to the road. They somehow already nearing his mother stop without Daniel knowledge. He reluctantly let her go with a cheerful smile - too wide, too fake. Fortunately, his mother still a bit preoccupied trying to dried her tears with a tissue so she didn’t notice his cracks.

His mother hugged him one more time and patted his back. “Next time, take a longer break.”

Daniel laughed, “of course. I’ll visit whenever I can.”

It was a bit funny watching his mom leaving the seat next to him with her multiple bags and a bouquet of flower. But the small kid inside him felt sad, his mother back appeared to be so far away.

“ _Eomma saranghande_ ~!”

When he couldn’t saw her retreating back anymore, he slumped back into the car seat and rubbed his forehead gently. He could feel a headache coming. The other men in the car gave him a look of mixed pity and sympathy which he only replied with a laugh.

After all, _that_ was the only thing he knows other than dancing.

 

 

Kang Daniel. 22 years old. Busan boy. Loves dancing and cats. Puppy-like personality. Always smiling or laughing.

Diagnosed with a brain cancer Grade-III: _Anaplastic Ependymoma._

**Live expectancy: 23 years old.**

 

 

—The filming continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY DANIEL, I LOVE YOU!!!  
> I loves angst too much okay. I got an idea after listening to IPU confession version.
> 
> Just posted this because my friend kept bugging me, ugh my engliissshhhh- :/  
> Should i continue or not?
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (DECEMBER) Daniel got sick after Master Key filming.

 

> _Time is running out_ _금방_ _돌아올게_
> 
> _(Time is running out we’ll be back soon)_
> 
> _아직_ _들려주고_ _싶은_ _얘기가_ _많아_
> 
> _(Still so many things I want you to hear)_
> 
> _Time is running out_ _조금만_ _기다려줄래_
> 
> _(Time is running out will you wait just a little bit?)_
> 
> _보여주고_ _싶은_ _것들이_ _너무_ _많아_
> 
> _(Still so many things I want to show you)_
> 
> Wanna One – To be One (Outro)

 

* * *

 

 

“Daniel, are you okay?” A soft voice asked from beside him.

Daniel blinked his eyes slowly, his neck aches and his head felt a bit lightheaded. His body felt heavy since he woke up at Zero Base to film Master Key today. He just thought that his body only protested for his lack of sleep like usual and he will be better after a quick nap in the van.

He was wrong.

Rather, it got worse, even after they finished filming.

“Niel-ah?”

Something cold touched his right cheek, spontaneously made him jolt on his seat.

“S-Seongwu-hyung?” Daniel croaked, his throat felt dry. He tried to blink the haziness from his eyesight but it won’t go away.

Seongwu’s cold palm slowly covered his forehead, “Oh my God, you’re burning!” Daniel subconsciously leaned to the touch. It felt shooting for his throbbing head. He couldn’r really comprehend Seongwu and their manager conversation but he understood from his expression that Seongwu was worried.

The vocalist suddenly raised his voice, “we have to bring him to the hospital!”

Daniel flinched from the loud sound. He didn’t want to go to that place again, nevertheless he admits his body felt really terrible.

“The other members are in Japan. We’ll go back to the dorm first. Let’s see if he is still sick after sleeping.” Their manager calm voice said back.

“Don’t you see that he is sick?!”

Seongwu sounded like he was on the verge of throwing something at their manager, Daniel somehow felt guilty. He opened his mouth to speak but no sound was coming out. Daniel cleared his throat painfully to gain the duo attention.

The vocalist and the manager stopped their arguing to look at the weak boy. Seongwu gave him a water bottle. The cold water felt good for Daniel’s throat.

After gulping down half of the drink, he finally could speak. “Hyung, it’s o-okay. Maybe I just need some rest…”

“Niel, you’re shivering even though you has a fever.” Retorted Seongwu, voice stern.

Indeed. He really in no condition to defy. He couldn’t speak clearly because his throat still a bit sore, his pounding headache also made it almost impossible to think.

Well, okay. Daniel just have to use his ultimate weapon; puppy-eyes.

“Please Seongwu-hyung? If I get worse you can drag me to hospital, okay?” promised him sincerely. Although he hoped it won’t come to that, he already went to the hospital last week. Honestly, he was tired seeing white.

Seongwu stared at the younger for a bit too long, making the sick boy uncomfortable. Finally, after some agonizing minutes, Seongwu surrendered. “Fine. Don’t blame me when you collapse.”

Daniel only smiled.

 

He really collapsed though – or in this case, Daniel won’t woke up after sleeping.

 

In the end, Seongwu blamed himself.

 

* * *

 

 

Everything hurts.

His fever burning high, his limbs won’t move, his voice gone.

Despite that, Daniel still forced his eyes to open. He regretted it seconds later when bright light assaulted his eyes suddenly. He groaned.

“Daniel?”

He heard his manager – the one that got assigned with him – voice beside him. Daniel moved his head to the source, apparently it only aggravated his already hellish headache and neck pain. Daniel gritted his teeth.

“Just listen, don’t move. Seongwu already went back to the dorm to sleep and to assure the rest when they come back tonight.” Daniel nodded slowly. He want to ask something but his voice won’t come out.

The older man seemed to understand though. “Yes, we’re in the same hospital as the one that did your regular check-up. Sorry you had to be in this situation right now, it wasn't that manager fault, he's still new. Don’t blame him like Seongwu.”

Daniel lips quirked into a semblance of a smile when he heard the worried undertone behind the man monotone. Daniel always jokingly commented that his manager was the only one that sincerely care about him from _that_ agency. Maybe it was true.

He already changed his previously annual follow up care since he got busted by his own mom at the end of last month. He was literally forced by the combined forces of his family and management to plan a monthly visit with another oncologist in Seoul so that he didn’t have to travel back and forth from Seoul to Busan for a check-up. It was useless to fight them on his own, so he just let himself be dragged by his manager last week in a journey around some prestigious hospital to found a new doctor (and a health care team) that they could trust.

After so much consideration, his mother agreed with their decision to admit Daniel at one of the biggest hospital in Gangnam-gu, since it was already best known for cancer treatment. Daniel didn’t want to take a look at his medical bills. Seriously, there were so many zeroes.

Daniel tried to open his eyes again, it was still too bright, too white. At least, it was more bearable than before. Daniel locked his eyes with the man beside his bed without moving his head, asking a silent question.

“Don’t worry, because of our _agreement_ for secrecy, we still haven’t told the other staffs about your condition.” Daniel almost laugh when he saw the man rolled his eyes unprofessionally at the word ‘agreement’. Honestly, it was more like, a ‘ _coercion_ ’. Daniel remembered he practically had to threaten them into secrecy that day. It was funny.

“I take it you haven’t tell your members as well.” Deadpanned the manager.

His smile fell.

His manager gaze look like he pitied him. Stop. He hates that look. Daniel didn’t need pity.

He _is_ fine.

“You guys live together until next year. They will know eventually…”

Daniel shut his eyes again. He didn’t want to talk about this. He didn’t want to see that look on someone face again.

“They will be upset.”

He _is_ already upset.

Daniel never intended to hide his condition from everyone at first. Actually, he never thought he got to debut. He almost run away to his aunt house in Canada to found some solace. He already prepared everything, when suddenly a notice about produce101 come out. Then, Jisung persuaded the other MMO trainees – including him – to apply.

Daniel always a bit impulsive, however it wasn’t mean he will do things half-heartedly. When he decided to do something, Daniel will make sure to put in his efforts.

Prduce101 was Daniel last resort. That time, his doctor already told him about the bad prognosis. His mother forced him to promise that he will take a radiotherapy again and stop being a trainee at MMO if he didn’t make it. Daniel always avoided that because the medical procedures put too much burden on his body, how was he supposed to dance if he couldn’t even move his fingers after therapy?

Truthfully, Daniel didn’t have any expectation, he would be glad if he got to be on the final line-up. Daniel already made up his heart to stop trying to pursue dance or any thought of being in an entertainment industry before the shooting even started. Unexpectedly, he did make it and got first place though. The relief he felt made his head went dizzy with euphoria, even his mother come and congratulated him with a proud smile.

That was the best day of his life.

He did plan to tell his members when he made it into Wannaone. But, he just never found the perfect timing to simply talk. Without realizing it, it was already the end of the year. Daniel then decided to just hide it to make everyone live easier, they were already busy with both group and individual schedules, he didn’t want to add another baggage on his friends shoulder – particularly, the younger members.

 

* * *

 

“Let me come.”

“No.”

Daniel pouted. Jisung crossed his arm with a frown.

The other members already got back after Seongwu and him already fallen asleep this morning.

Daniel was discarded sometime after midnight, they decided Daniel won’t be hospitalized. Turn out, it was only a flu. Yes, _only_. Because at first, Daniel thought the symptoms suddenly worsening or something.

He was glad it was only a particularly bad cold.

He was glad he still had time.

“But hyung, I want to see Wannables!” Daniel whinned. His voice still raspy, but it wasn’t as scratchy as before.

The older glared when Daniel tried to sit. Daniel still did it though. Even though he flopped back on the bed when Jisung pushed his shoulder lightly.

“I won’t allow it.”

“But I – I don’t want them to worry…” whispered Daniel with low voice, he didn’t want to strain his throat too much. Jisung heard it though.

“You will only get them more worried if you come with your appearance right now.”

Daniel still won’t give up, “they allow it though.”

Jisung lifted one elegant eyebrow up, “who?”

“Uh—the higher up…?” The sick boy groaned when Jisung still look unsatisfied. “I’m not lying! They said I can only give a small speech though.”

Jisung cursed softly, “God damn, are they blind? You’re obviously in no condition to move!” Daniel scowled when he heard the oldest member hushed complaint. He could move, you know. His body felt _a bit_ stiff but he could move.

The door opened, Seongwu come in with a wet hair and a towel around his neck. He already wore a pale sweat shirt and a black jeans. “So? Daniel come?” asked Seongwu to Jisung.

Jisung uncrossed his arm and massaged his forehead, “they let him.”

Seongwu copied the older expression before nodding grimly. He took a sit on Daniel’s bed and switched on the hairdryer to blow his hair.

When Daniel saw their identical annoyed expression, Daniel couldn’t help but chuckled weakly.

“Why are you laughing, you punk.” Jisung grumbled, albeit his small smile betrayed his words. He sounded glad to hear Daniel laugh again.

The door opened again, Sungwoon’s head popped in, one hand around the handle and the other tried to comb his mused hair. He swept his eyes around the small room before looking back and forth between the three occupants with pointed eyes.

“Are you guys ready? Minhyun has been rushing out the other members.” said Sungwoon to Jisung and Seongwu before he switched his attention to the boy lying on the bed with unreadable expression.

“Don’t push yourself.”

“You know? Wait, no– you agree with _them_?” Jisung sounded scandalized.

Sungwoon shrugged, “not really,” he continued before Jisung could voice his protest again, “but we can’t stop him anyway.”

Daniel smiled sheepishly, he rose a thumb up that was only answered with glares from three pair of eyes. Daniel just gave them his signature bunny-toothed smile.

Seongwu turned off the hairdryer while sighing heavily, “he’s really stubborn.”

Sungwoon nodded, although his eyes still stared at Daniel with an expression the sick boy couldn’t understand. Jisung squinted his own eyes, aware of the small boy suspicious behavior.

“Hyungs?” Daniel soft murmur broke the three – still standing – figure from their own thought.

Sungwoon snapped back first into reality. “Ah yeah, we’ll leave around ten minutes.” Then he closed the door with a soft click without waiting for responses.

Awkward silence.

Something rare when this particular combination of people got put together in a room.

Daniel hold out his hand when he couldn’t handle more of this quietness. He tilted his head to the side a bit with the cutest smile he could muster, “help me?”

It was Jisung’s turn to sigh. Yet, he still help Daniel sit on the bed. Seongwu brought out a fresh black oversized hoodie and a pair of black pant for Daniel.

“Are you reeeeaaally alright?” Seongwu inquired. Daniel looked up, tried to catch Seongwu’s eyes while he was still half standing-half leaning on Jisung shoulder. A pang of guilt attacked his heart again when Daniel saw a flash of regret inside those brown orbs.

“Yes hyung. I’m okay—”

Seongwu rushed to help supporting Daniel weight immediately when suddenly Jisung stumbled from a stray plushie – Daniel’s. Fortunately, they didn’t fall.

“It – It wasn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself hyung.” Daniel whispered into Seongwu’s left ear when their position got stable again.

Seongwu only hummed, he didn’t acknowledged nor denied Daniel words. But still, Seongwu shoulder felt less tense than before.

 

There was a long day ahead of them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whose stupid idea was it to start a project in the middle of exam periods? - oh yeah, me. Fvck my live.  
> If somehow there was someone out there waiting for this story, i'm sorry. I'll try to update more regularly.
> 
> My English still make me cringe. Btw, i don't know W1's managers actual names so i never really mentioned their name :'v  
> This is fiction okay.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
